Hear My Heart Out | 02

I’ll give you a heads up, this post is long overdue. I have drafted this post around May 2020 and meant to post this, I promise – but I just was so hesitant that I couldn’t post it. But here I am trying to finish and actually posting it.

It’s been so long since I shared something relationship-wise, an update of the series I did— “Hear My Heart Out”, which was first released two years ago.

And honestly, I didn’t thought that the series will have a follow-up. But hey, this is good and something I want to remember.

Please hear my heart out – but this time, this little heart I have is so much grateful for what I have right now. I can fully say that after all the harsh words and traumatic experience I had in the past – my heart is in its happiest state and all healed up and it’s because of him.

I tried to focus my time to myself, my family and my work – and in between, I try to spend some leisure time playing mobile games. That is one way I helped myself distracted, I also helped myself getting back to blogging and writing, and I admit it is not the same anymore, but I am still trying.

I started a new chapter, where I chose to be stronger, wiser and happier.

I cried a LOT. Cried myself to sleep, cried every time I remember all the words thrown at me, but it didn’t stopped me. I held up high and trusted my Lord to give me a peaceful heart. Months after, I was getting back and smiling again. He gave me the peace of mind I longed for. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues,they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” — 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

I did not posted or wrote anything for him or about him, other than the screen caps I post on Instagram. Why? Simply because I didn’t know how to begin with. I was so happy and I didn’t want to share it to anyone, not until now.

After being in a horrible, traumatic and selfish relationship I had in the past, all I ever wondered is why it happened to me. I didn’t blamed God for what happened, instead- I thanked Him for the lesson and because of what happened in the past, I met someone who understands and cares about me.

I knew I needed time for myself and time to know me more, spend time knowing God. I closed my door because I was too scared to get hurt again, but he didn’t care about that- he talked to me, willingly and patiently waited for my heart to fully accept and be in love again. He opened my eyes to the reality that not all people are the same, and he is the best person I have know. His pure heart, kindness and how he patiently handled my worst days. And makes me think how beyond grateful I am that we ever crossed paths.

Different in his cute and unique way, I honestly have never felt this calm and peaceful. I definitely can sleep peacefully and not worry about a thing regardless of us being in a long distance relationship.

It does makes me wonder – maybe it is God’s plan that I get to experience heartbreaks. Because of that heartbreak, I have met and known someone who I adore and who I cherish. Someone who takes care of me despite the thousand mile distance and different time zone.

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